Wendell’s Modest Review Of The Universe

For all you movie buffs who like to know the stats, check out http://www.the-numbers.com.

You can find very surprising information when you look at some of the numbers. For example, who would have thought that John Ratzenberger of Cheers fame would rank as #15 in total box office grossing movies?

In his case, most of his top ranking comes from doing voices for some of the best known animations like The Incredibles, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc., Toy Story 1 & 2, and A Bug’s Life.

The top 3 all time grossing movies? Titanic - $1,835,400,000 (1997), Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King - $1,117,602,779 (2001), and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone - $975,800,000 (2001). The figures represent the total amount of money a movie has taken globally over its lifetime and are not adjusted for inflation.

Pretty cool numbers…

Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell star in an offbeat comedy based the original Elizabeth Montgomery Bewitched TV series.

Rather than being just a straight redo of the TV series, the storyline centers around a remake of the original TV show. Kidman — who plays a real witch in the movie but, uh, not in the remake of the TV show — desires to function in the “normal” mortal world of humans. I guess that world would include the one with the Ron Perlmaneque Will Ferrell who plays an out-of-luck actor trying to revive his movie career after a series of box-office stinkers.

In the movie Will is cast as the Darren character from Bewitched and the smitten Kidman is chosen to play Samantha.

Despite the mildly confusing storyline accented by an ill-defined relationship between Michael Caine — Kidman’s warlock father — and Shirley MacLaine who plays the TV character Endora, along with a horrific uncle Arthur impersonation by Steve Carell, both Kidman and Ferrell shine.

Both of the characters — uh, the movie characters and not the TV characters — are played with earnest adolescent verve. Kidman, a fetching wide-eyed innocent and Ferrell, his standard goonish teen clown.

It’s hard to resist comparing the love-yearning movie Samantha character with Kidman’s own personal life after her public breakup with the love psycho Tom Cruise.

Overall a good mindless movie for Kidman and Ferrell fans.

*sigh*

Sometimes you see a celebrity who is so fantastically gorgeous…so exceptionally stunning…so amazingly breath-taking.

And then you see their wart.

A fatal flaw. A chink in the perfect armor. An Achilles heel.

So let’s get right to it: There ain’t nuthin’ beautiful about a friggin’ “beauty mark.”

It’s a tragedy. Like ghouls staring at a horrific car accident. You know it’s gruesome, but you just gotta look at it.

Look at the otherwise perfect Cindy Crawford, known world-wide for her so-called beauty mark.

Grrr…she’s got that disgusting wart, right there on her lip. It makes you want to cry. *waaaah*

Now look at this same picture of Cindy, sans evil wart.

So which do we like better? The first or the second? A or B or about the same?

The answer is the second picture you fools!

Note: As a curiousity, I notice that one of the Google Ads on my Cindy page sometimes shows Anal Warts. Eeew. I guess having a wart on the lip ain’t so bad.

Despite the fact that this 2004 book was a #1 national best seller, I found the majority of the book bothersome and irritatingly dry — not unlike a bad case of psoriasis.

The book is a series of short stories about the author growing up in North Carolina with his dysfunctional family. Although the first two stories are quirky and engaging, I found the remainder of the book to have a very mean-spirited tone. I don’t see how other readers could say that it was “poignant” or “deeply satisfying.”

Instead of being a book that is painfully wry, the book is so wry it’s painful to read.

My suggestion is to read the first two chapters and throw the rest of the book away. You’ll be glad you did.

OK. With all the money these celebrities make and spend on cosmetic surgery you’d think they could take care of a little wart? All vanity aside, it just bugs me when I see things like warts and moles hanging off a celebrity. It’s not like they can’t afford to have it fixed.

C’mon! How much can a bottle of Compound W cost?

Robert De Niro is a prime example.

Yiigh! Looking at it is like fingernails on a chalkboard! What about his wife? When she kisses him she gets the disgusting close up view of it.

C’mon Bobby, give yer wife a break and have that cheek wart removed before you poke her eye out.